The Time Has Come

…For the girls to go!

If you don’t know who the “girls” are you can…whatever. Boobs. I’m talking about boobs. By the time you read this, I will be in a deep sleep, undergoing a prophylactic bilateral under the muscle direct to implant mastectomy (say that five times fast).

I have a few fears going into this surgery.

One) dying.

Two) pain and/or nausea. But mostly nausea.

Three) not being able to shave for weeks.

I mean, come one, I’m already getting my boobs chopped off, I don’t want to look like a hairy man too.

So while the first two fears require faith, the third requires wax.

If I shaved, I’d be a hairy man by midnight.

If I waxed, then I wouldn’t be a hairy man until…gee…I don’t know…Thursday?

Now, I could have called my local wax center and made an appointment. That would make sense. However, often times (fine, most of the time) I forget to engage my brain and I make silly decisions.

I mean, why hire someone else to give me a wax when I could do it myself?

Cleary, this was a good idea.

So I got to waxing. Legs. Pits. Face. Arms…it was all going pretty well until…well, until I got down there.

Holy crap, have you ever waxed your own lady bits?

 

Anyway.

So I’m going into surgery full of faith, a bit of anxiety, and half a bikini wax.

See you soon!

 

The first two books in The Cambria Clyne Mystery Series are available now!

HILARIOUS THE HUFFINGTON POST

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “The Time Has Come”

  1. I did the immediate reconstruction to. I had complications in my third will and will have to have a skin graft. I’m going Monday to get my port put in for chemo. I know what you mean by all you said. I experienced all kinds of emotions from fear anger and then just crying. I was blessed to find mine early. I hope and pray your doing well . #cancersucks

    Like

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