Actual Thoughts I Have While in the School Drop-off Line.

-I should probably park and walk the kids in.

-But I am wearing sweatpants and yesterday’s shirt.

-Am I even wearing a bra….nope.

-The drop-off line it is.

-Why is this line so long?

-Oh for goodness sakes…Pull your car all the way to the front of the line, please! All. The. Way. Up.

-I may have to fight someone.

-Does anyone actually park and walk their kids anymore? Geez. Lazy parenting these days, I tell ya.

-Oh, sure, cut in front of me. That’s fine. Must be nice to be special.

-Pull all the way up! See the lady with the orange vest waving her arms for you to pull forward? Yeah, listen to her.

-Why are you stopping at the middle of the curb? Do you not notice the long line of cars honking behind you?

-Did that mom just get out of her car?

-Oh, yes she did!

-Don’t get out of your car, woman! This is for drop-off only. If you must hug your kid, park!

-Can no one drive in this country?

-Why are we moving so slow?

-Everyone here is an inconsiderate butthole.

-Oh, come on! You are seriously opening your trunk? Can’t your kid keep their backpack on their lap or, gee, I don’t know, by their feet? You drive a ginormous SUV. I’m sure there is room.

-You’re holding up the line, BMW. Move. Move. Move. Move.

-We have ten minutes before the first bell.

-Oh, come on. Pull all the way up, people! It’s not that hard. Take your car and drive all the way to the front, stop, drop the kids, and go. It’s not Common Core Math here, people. Figure it out.

-I should volunteer to help man the drop-off line.

-I wonder how much bullhorns cost?

-Can you Amazon Prime a megaphone?

-Or tasers???

-Mmmmm, better stick to volunteering in the library.

-OK, almost to the front of the line. It’s go time.

-Why am I sweating?

-Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!

-I miss NSNYC….

-Are you seriously honking at me? I have four kids to drop off!

-This parking lot is crazy. Why are so many people parking?

-Did I sigh Noah’s homework folder?

-I know he handed it to me, but did I sign it?

-I do remember taking out the chicken for dinner tonight.

-How many more days until This is Us is on?

-I need to reply to my text messages.

-Oh, look, I’m home.


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