Last night, as I was falling asleep, I thought about this crazy world, and ISIS, and starving children in Africa, and North Korea, and online bullying, and decided I should make my kids homemade fruit leather because I’m pretty sure the fruit leather you buy at the store causes cancer.

I’m not sure how I reached this decision but there it was.

Anyway, I go to Pinterest and start pinning snack ideas. When I woke, I made a list, dropped the kids at school, and went to Sprouts. Yes, my ankle is busted (fell down stairs). Yes, I had to lug Fisher with me. But my mind was set, and I make stupid decisions when my mind is set.

So I buy everything needed, about three times the cost of actual fruit leather, and limp home (well, to my car). Once home, I get to work. I cut up 4 containers worth of strawberries. Blend the raspberries and honey and strawberries. All the while thinking about how lucky my kids are. I mean, honestly! I make them homemade fruit leather.

Mother of the year award!

So I line the baking pans. The recipe says plastic wrap. Why would I use plastic wrap? There’s an accompanying blog post, but it has a lot of words.
Plus, I ain’t no physicist, but doesn’t plastic melt when heated?

Duh!

I use parchment paper instead, because clearly, I know more than the food blogger who, in her own words, has been making fruit leather for years.

I pour the mixture, even it out, put it in the oven for, get this, EIGHT HOURS. Yes, I’ve now devoted my entire day to these fruit leathers. Good thing I made three trays.

So the eight hours are over—not done yet.

Another hour passes—nope. Another hour and we’re ready.
I pull them off the parchment paper and….

They’ve become one with the parchment paper.

No,no, no! I now see my kids, hours from now, telling their teachers about how their mother made them eat parchment paper.

I use a knife—nope.
A spatula—still stuck.
Literally NOTHING works.

Ten hours!!

All freaking day!

I will not be beat, though!

I just returned from the store with plastic wrap, fruit, and organic chicken breasts. Just in case this goes south again, I can sleep tonight knowing my kids had a mostly organic dinner.

pinterest fail

My name is Erin Huss. I’m a thirty-something mom of five, wife of one, author, and blogger. I enjoy long walks through Target, romance novels, chick-lit, cozy mysteries, historical fiction, See’s Candy, musicals, and I’ll pretty much buy anything the TV tells me to. I’m originally from the beautiful Central Coast of California and now reside in Southern California with my family, which also includes one bird, two dogs, and a lot of fish. I’m a PREVIVOR. Represented by Ella Marie Shupe & Sharon Belcastro

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