Pinterest Fail

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I thought about this crazy world, and ISIS, and starving children in Africa, and North Korea, and online bullying, and decided I should make my kids homemade fruit leather because I’m pretty sure the fruit leather you buy at the store causes cancer.

I’m not sure how I reached this decision but there it was.

Anyway, I go to Pinterest and start pinning snack ideas. When I woke, I made a list, dropped the kids at school, and went to Sprouts. Yes, my ankle is busted (fell down stairs). Yes, I had to lug Fisher with me. But my mind was set, and I make stupid decisions when my mind is set.

So I buy everything needed, about three times the cost of actual fruit leather, and limp home (well, to my car). Once home, I get to work. I cut up 4 containers worth of strawberries. Blend the raspberries and honey and strawberries. All the while thinking about how lucky my kids are. I mean, honestly! I make them homemade fruit leather.

Mother of the year award!

So I line the baking pans. The recipe says plastic wrap. Why would I use plastic wrap? There’s an accompanying blog post, but it has a lot of words.
Plus, I ain’t no physicist, but doesn’t plastic melt when heated?


I use parchment paper instead, because clearly, I know more than the food blogger who, in her own words, has been making fruit leather for years.

I pour the mixture, even it out, put it in the oven for, get this, EIGHT HOURS. Yes, I’ve now devoted my entire day to these fruit leathers. Good thing I made three trays.

So the eight hours are over—not done yet.

Another hour passes—nope. Another hour and we’re ready.
I pull them off the parchment paper and….

They’ve become one with the parchment paper.

No,no, no! I now see my kids, hours from now, telling their teachers about how their mother made them eat parchment paper.

I use a knife—nope.
A spatula—still stuck.
Literally NOTHING works.

Ten hours!!

All freaking day!

I will not be beat, though!

I just returned from the store with plastic wrap, fruit, and organic chicken breasts. Just in case this goes south again, I can sleep tonight knowing my kids had a mostly organic dinner.

pinterest fail

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